Music is amazing. It can put you in a good mood, or make you sad, sometimes even make you mad. Usually it doesn't make you mad though...
I think I have commitment issues. I've always said, no that's not me, but lately I've stepped back & said...damn. I really think I do. The fact I can't see the future makes me nervous. I know, I'm weird. & I'm sooo freakin indecisive about guys. Just ask Haley this year...in about February/March? Yeahhhh, just kidding don't ask her about that. :P I'm a really jealous person too. I'm like, hey, no, I'M supposed to make YOU jealous, not the other way around. That sounds so mean on paper...but really? I think we all are thinking it. And if you say...noo nooo, Brooke you are just a beeeotch, no one thinks like that. -.- i doubt it. Everyone gets jealous.
Since I'm already SPILLING my freakin GUTS everywhere in this blog...I'll tell you a secret. I haven't gotten my heart broken but once. And it wasn't all that big of a deal...you'd think I'm stupid really. But I let myself like him soooo much, that when it mysteriously & confusingly ended...i was depressed. Literally, that week I spiraled out of control. I convinced myself I was ugly & I had no friends (which later my dad told me I did have one, Lauren) & I really did feel like that....I really only had one friend. She was the only one I'd told, just because she noticed that something was wrong with me. I pretty much cried myself to sleep that week. & even now, I'll see him in the hallway, & my heart will skip & my tummy will get all nervous. It wasn't JUST him that made me so upset...but yeah he was the start of it. & even now, I'm afraid to let myself like a guy, I'll just like him a minimum, I'm just that afraid that I will get broke. It's weird, you probably think I'm a baby. But, hey, we all act different to certain situations don't we?
If you read all that, and you still are my friend, I love you <3
No comments:
Post a Comment